Enter: Mr. Collins

Mr. Bennet: "I think we shall have a guest at dinner tonight, my dear."
Mrs. Bennet: "Really, my dear? Is he rich? Is he single?"
Mr. Bennet: "Single he is, and he is to inherit my entire estate."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh Mr. Bennet! The world is so unfair! Why must your estate be entailed away from us poor females? Oh woe is us!"
Mr. Bennet: "Whatever you say, dear."


Mr. Collins: "Hello most esteemed relations. I have come to marry one of your daughters and rescue you from desolation when poor Mr. Bennet kicks the bucket."
Jane: "How, er, nice of you, Mr. Collins"
Mr. Collins (thinking): She likes me! I shall marry her.


Mr. Collins: "Mrs. Bennet, I've decided to marry Jane."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh Mr. Collins, that is quite generous of you, but I am afriad that Jane is likely to be very soon engaged."
Mr. Collins: "Oh."


Mrs. Bennet: "My Lizzy, however, is quite unattached."
Mr. Collins: "Okay, I'll take her then."
Mrs. Bennet: "Have at it, Mr. Collins."