Stuff Happens

Elizabeth: "Jane, sweetie, what's wrong? I know you so well I can tell your upset, even though you don't have any facial features."
Jane: "It's Mr. Bingley. He has left Netherfield and his sister says he has no plans to return immediately. Oh, sister, what if he never comes back!"
Elizabeth: "I'm sure he will come back soon. How could he stay away from someone as absolutely perfect for him as you?"
Jane: "I hope you're right."
Elizabeth: "Of course I am."


Mrs. Bennet: "Mr. Bingley gone? Nonsense! He will be back in no time."
Elizabeth: "I'm afraid Jane is right, Mama. The Bingleys have no plans to return to Netherfield."
Mrs. Bennet: "Ooooh! It must be that wretched Mr. Darcy's fault!"


Mr. Collins: "Cousin Elizabeth! My dear cousins, please allow me to introduce you to the love of my life..."


Mr. Collins: "Mrs. Charlotte Lucas Collins!"
Elizabeth: "Charlotte?! Why-?"
Charlotte: "I was an old maid, Lizzy. And he would have me! Even with this hair, he says he loves me. You know it was the hair that scared off every other guy, Lizzy."
Elizabeth: "Yes, I guess you're right. Better you than me, after all."
*knock on the door*


Jane: "Aunt and Uncle Gardiner! What a lovely surprise!"
Elizabeth: "Aunt! What perfect timing. Jane, wouldn't you love to go to London?"
Mrs. Gardiner: "Yes, Jane, you must come and stay with us! And who knows, you may run into a certain *someone* there! *wink, wink*"


Elizabeth: "Oh woe is me. My best friend is married and my only sane sister has gone to London. I am all alone!"