Elizabeth Goes to Hunsford

Elizabeth: "Look at this! A letter from Charlotte? She wants me to come visit. It's so dull here. I'm on my way!"


Mr. Collins: "Cousin Elizabeth! I am so glad you have come. My dear Charlotte has been desolate without her friend."
Charlotte: "Yes Lizzy, I am very glad you are come. Here, I will show you where to leave you things."


Elizabeth: "So how are you really, dear Charlotte?"
Charlotte: "I find myself... quite content with my situation, Lizzy. I admit I encourage my husband to spend as much time as possible in his gardens and visiting his patroness. She has been very good."
Elizabeth (snorts): "Hm."
Charlotte: "I'm serious! He spends so much time and energy sucking up to her that he has no energy to talk to me when he gets home. We are quite happy this way."
Elizabeth: "MmHmm."
Charlotte: "Look, here he comes."


Mr. Collins: (rushing in breathless): "Charlotte, Cousin Elizabeth, she has- *catching his breath and regrouping* Lady Catherine de Bourgh has invited us to dine with her this evening in honor of our guest."
Charlotte (raising her eyebrows): "Such special attention? This is quite an honor Lizzy."
Elizabeth: "Hooray?"


Mr. Collins: "Is not Rosings the most beautiful house you have ever seen, Cousin Elizabeth? A single brick, nay, a signle crumb of a single brick of her chimney is worth more than eight thousand pounds."
Elizabeth: "That is quite amazing."
Mr. Collins: "Do not worry yourself about your appearance, Cousin. Lady Catherine likes the physical appearance of superiority on her part always apparent."
Elizabeth: "Then she need not worry on my part. Or yours. Cousin."


Lady Catherine: "So this is the fine Elizabeth Bennet. It is pleasant to make your aquaintance, Miss Bennet."
Elizabeth: "Thank you, your Ladyship, it is a pleasure to meet you as well."
Lady Catherine: "Tell me, Miss Bennet, are your younger sisters out flirting yet?"
Elizabeth: "Yes Ma'am, all."
Lady Catherine: "ALL?!?"
Elizabeth: "It seems quite unfair, don't you think, that younger sisters should miss out on their share of flirting just because their older sisters are less successful flirts?"
Lady Catherine: "Well! You express your opinion quite decidedly for so young a person!"
Elizabeth: "Yes, well, these are progressive times. Not all of us were born in the stone age."