Mr. Darcy's Letter

Elizabeth: "Ah that wretched man! He's got me all in a tizzy. Oh no- here he comes!"


Mr. Darcy: "I would appreciate it if you would do me the honor of reading this letter."
Elizabeth: "How does the light saber not burn it up?"
Mr. Darcy: "I have wondered that myself."


Mr. Darcy's Letter: Dear Miss Bennet, please rest assured that this letter does not contain any of the mushiness which you found so disgusting last night. I only wish to acquit myself of your accusations. First of all, Mr. Wickham. I know not what particular evil he has accused me of, but here is my side of the story. Wickham and I grew up together, as his father was my father's steward. We used to enjoy one another's company, but unfortunately what strength of character Mr. Wickham had soon began to vanish. When my father died and Wickham learned that he had been left a valuable living, he declined any interest in the church and wished to be compenstated accordingly with cash. This I did and then believed him to be out of my life permanently.


Sadly, I was mistaken. Wickham's worst offense came years later against my sister. He met her while she was on holiday near the sea and was able to deceive her into believing herself in love with him, even to consent to an elopement. His object was, undoubtedly, my sister's large fortune.


I was fortunate enough to discover their plan and threatened Wickham within an inch of his life (light sabers are good for that sort of thing).


My sister, who has always looked young for her age, was then only fifteen years old.


As for your sister and Bingley, my only defense is that, after careful observation, I truly believed her indifferent. If I had thought her truly in love with him, I could not have had an objection, but I did not want to see my friend in an unloving, generally bad match. I hope you cannot blame me for this. I will only add, God bless you. Fitzwilliam Darcy.